


everything i could never say

by adorechan



Series: loving you has consequences (that i'm willing to take) [9]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Idols, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Men Crying, Suicidal Thoughts, kinda??, minghaos only mentioned tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-06 16:13:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17942984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adorechan/pseuds/adorechan
Summary: the 5 times jihoon stayed silent and the one time he didn't.or, mingyu always goes to jihoon to vent but jihoon doesn't know how to comfort the younger.





	everything i could never say

i. you are beautiful.

 

"i hate this body, hyung. it's too tall and too tan. i wish i had cute, fair skin like yours and that i was shorter. i don't like being tall." mingyu whines as he falls onto the couch in jihoon's studio. 

"i'm too clumsy as well. i think i would be less clumsy if i was shorter."

"i just don't-don't like how i am now."

jihoon pretends like he isn't listening.

 

ii. you are not a burden.

 

"i feel like i'm a burden to everyone else. soonyoung hyung gets irritated with me because i always take the longest to memorize and not mess up the dances. seungcheol and wonwoo get fed up with me because my lyrics are always submitted after the deadline." mingyu sighs as he lays his head on jihoon's lap.

"i feel like i talk too much and that it gets on everyone's nerves."

"i feel like a burden, hyung." 

jihoon's heart breaks a little.

 

iii. you did nothing wrong.

 

this time when mingyu comes to jihoon, he's crying. his left arm is wrapping up in a cast and tears are endlessly flowing down his sun-kissed cheeks.

"why'd i have to get hurt? i thought-i thought i was doing so well! i hadn't been injured once and i was getting better at the dances too. i just feel so bad."

"it's all my fault that minghao's hurt too. i ran into him, i hurt him. it's my fault."

his sobs echo throughout the small studio and jihoon tears up too.

 

iv. i'm listening.

 

it's nearly three am when mingyu comes by the studio. its obvious that he's been crying. his cheeks are puffy and his eyes are red and swollen. 

"i hate you, hyung. i really do." he says as he steps into the small room.

"you never listen to me. i come here everyday to rant and vent and you just- sit there! you act like you don't care and it really hurts."

"i come here because i trust you but i just don't know if i can do this anymore."

"listen to me. that's all i want."

jihoon stays silent.

 

v. i love you.

 

mingyu keeps coming everyday and jihoon continues to stay silent. 

"i think i know why i keep coming here." mingyu says suddenly one day.

"i think- i'm in love with you. you give me a sense of security, hope, love."

"it's okay if you don't love me back. i just hope one day you reply to me."

jihoon breaks down and sobs in mingyu's arms that day.

 

i. i'm sorry.

 

"i'm sorry, mingyu."

"i'm sorry that i never reply to you. it's just like the words won't reach my mouth. i feel useless because i want to comfort you and be there for you."

"i want to love you in the way you deserve. i want to hold you in my arms and keep you warm even if i am cold. i want to say so many things to you but i can't ever seem to find the right words."

"funny, right? i'm supposedly a musical genius. the best at writing lyrics yet i can't even speak to the man i love." 

"pitiful."

"but, really. i love you, i'm sorry and i'm always, _**always**_ listening."


End file.
